Caught in Possession

Sometimes the metaphors are so forehead-slappingly obvious that you simply have no choice but to pay them heed and use them...almost as if you'd be tempting the g*ds by doing otherwise. Such was my situation as I wrote up the match wrap for DC United's sad, soggy 2-0 loss to Chicago tonight. (No link to it here as it's not up yet, but by the time you read this it'll be posted on dcunited.com and you'll see what I mean.)

I tend to be the last one out of the RFK press box on game nights, but it's a particularly late night on this occasion -- beyond doing a bit of extra transcribing work to help out certain unnamed DCU employees (who need not say thank you, since I myself owe them in kind), I have been waiting around to see if this torrential downpour lets up even a little bit...Seeing as how I rode a bike to tonight's match and these are not ideal riding conditions, to put it mildly.

The crashing, booming thunder and lightning that loomed right over top of the stadium earlier was impressive enough, but now the field down below me is well and truly waterlogged and submerged, and it's hard not to look for some kind of angry biblical warning behind this flood. Has United attempted to fly too high? Are the waxy wings melting like they done did to that poor SOB Icarus? Or is everyone just a bit too panicky given that it's still early May?

Beyond that, I've got to get to my girlfriend's house before this place floats away and if this new, high-tech RFK pitch is inundated by now, I can only imagine what is waiting for me on the gritty streets of this swampy city. The future is bleak in DCU-land and divine intervention may be the only hope...

Du Nord readers may have already laid eyes on this, but for those who missed it, American Soccer Daily caught up with former DC United netminder and 2006 MLS Goalkeeper of the Year Troy Perkins for a candid interview. Perkins is now plying his trade for Norwegian club Valerenga

Many will always remember Perkins for his rags-to-riches -- or in the MLS context, reserves-to-regulars -- story. The plain-spoken Ohioan was an unheralded 'keeper who worked on the side at Modell's sporting goods store to help survive while on a developmental salary, before wrestling the starting job away from Nick Rimando, becoming one of the league's top goalies and eventually moving across the pond to Europe for more money in a more soccer-centric culture.

At first Troy was a pretty unspectacular interview, but as he matured into a starter his confidence and expressiveness grew, and by his final season he could be counted on to tell you just how it was. He wasn't afraid to speak his mind or call out teammates if he felt it was appropriate, and in this ASD piece there's plenty of that bluntness for readers to enjoy.

As the DC United world turns its collective focus to tonight's game against the Chitown Fire at RFK, I thought I'd share a couple of quotes I got from Tuesday's Volkswagen sponsorship announcement that are just too good to leave in the can, to use a bit of journo-speak.

Right after the press conference Victor MacFarlane, United's principal investor, was asked if he owned a Volkswagen. MacFarlane is probably the richest person I've ever spoken with and in the real estate world he carries about as much weight as anyone in the U.S., but he still manages to exude a benevolent, engaging sort of alpha-dogness -- something akin to a blend of Daddy Warbucks and Richard Roundtree -- and his (relatively) honest answer to the question was entertaining:

"Actually, I don’t own a Volkswagen but I do own Volkswagen corporation products. My car, unfortunately, is a Bentley, not a Volkswagen. But they do own Bentley!"

I can only hope that I someday have the good fortune to utter the words, "my car, unfortunately, is a Bentley."

Personal automobile choices also came up when I talked to Clyde Simms after practice. I haven't seen him driving away from RFK lately but if I recall, Clyde drives a late-model Nissan Maxima...though VW's offer of employee pricing for DCU folks is clearly on his mind.

"Yeah, it’s exciting," he said of the VW-DCU alliance. "Hopefully we get a discount on the cars – my lease is about up, so it’d be perfect timing."

I don't know his latest address, but at one point Rod Dyachenko lived (along with PR guy Kyle Sheldon) at Josh Gros' place way, way out in Virginia, an hour+ from RFK, so you'd think he'd be fired up about the potential V-Dub hookup, but...not so much...

"Ehh, I don’t really think of anything like that. I mean, I could care less if there was a sponsor or no sponsor – I guess maybe a sponsor is going to be better, obviously more money and more opportunity. So, I know there’s this whole thing about having no sponsors on the jersey and everything, but I think sometimes a club needs a sponsor."

But it's not like he's a raging anti-corporatist, either, eh?

And finally, you gotta love VW America's Stefan Jacoby. Go listen to Dave Lipton's podcast or the Access United audio posted on behindthebadge.com to hear him talk -- it's worth it if only for his classic, jovial German accent -- then imagine him answering a question about his anticipation of the debut of his company's jersey logo at tonight's match:

"I think I will have goosebumps!"

(Actually it was more like "I zink I vill haf GOOSEbumpz!" but come on, who am I to make fun of peoples' accents? I remember about 15 words of German despite four intensive years of it in high school and I sound like the village idiot when speaking Spanish.)

Well. If the media coverage on the VERY FIRST DAY of Volkswagen's sponsorship with DC United is any indication of the kind of exposure zee Germans will get from their many millions over the next five years, I think it -- like David Beckham -- will pay for itself in short order.

Since ol' Kyle S at behindthebadge.com has done such a thorough job of rounding up the long list of relevant stories, I'll save us all a bit of time and simply direct you to his list here. Could it be that the Black-and-Red/Fahrvergnugen alliance is already...OVEREXPOSED?!?!

I mean, seriously people. I am impressed with the dedication and spirit of the United fans already lining up to buy whatever limited-edition, buy-this-car-and-support-your-favorite-team DCU Jetta that will surely be p*mped throughout the DC-area in the coming months. And it's nice to see someone do something interesting with the black hole/gravel pit behind the north goal at RFK. But I think VW is making out like gangbusters here.

Did you know that Volkswagen has been taking a bath lately? Sales have plunged 32 percent in the last half-decade and even VW America boss Stefan Jacoby -- who, as you can see above, is a dead ringer for well-traveled German coach Felix Magath -- admits that VW claims a US market share of just 1.5 percent. And there's this:

"The company...has seen a stream of departures in key ranks, losing nine upper level employees in the past 20 months. Many in the marketing department are not being asked to make the move to Virginia."

And, most noteworthy of all...VW spent $183 million on advertising last year, and $295 million the year before that. Makes $2.8 mil a year -- or even the $3.7 mil a year figure that got batted around last week -- look pretty modest, eh?

Belatedly...a few thoughts on DC United's recovery at the weekend. And make no mistake -- even by a 4-1 margin, the win over RSL is still only a recovery win. Plenty of hard work still to come.

But a weight certainly seems to have been lifted off United's collective shoulders. Rod Dyachenko took advantage of Tom Soehn's decision to yank off Dan Stratford early -- unnecessarily early, for me -- by putting in one of his best-ever performances with the DC senior squad.

For most of his time in DC, Dyachenko has routinely been handed one of the tougher tasks in the United cosmos: filling in for skilful attacking veterans like Jaime Moreno and Christian Gomez. Unsurprisingly, he's often struggled to reproduce their creativity. But against Real Salt Lake he gave us a glimpse of an all-around game that could yet live up to the potential Soehn and GM Dave Kasper see in him.

Rod is a pretty down-to-earth guy who typically gives it to you straight when interviewed, answering questions politely and forthrightly. In the locker room after Saturday's game, he got a lot more attention from the media than normal and veteran goofball Bryan Namoff couldn't resist poking fun at the scene, grabbing Dave Lifton's audio recorder and sticking it in Dyachenko's face like we do to the team's leading lights every week. (Dorky reporters are an easy target, to be sure.)

Rod, answering questions about the game: ...I think it’s a good mix between me, Clyde and Gallardo up there...

Namoff, interrupting: How did you feel your performance was out there? Coming in, I know it was a tough game, it was a big crowd, and did you feel right from the start?

Rod, playing along: Well, when you’re a natural like me, it’s a smooth transition from the bench onto the field. I thought the pitch looked real good today, I thought it matched my eyes. So therefore –

Namoff, being 'probing': It looked like there was good chemistry between you and Gallardo and Clyde Simms. Talk about that a little bit.

Rod: Well last night we actually had tea together, we had his wife – [laughing, loses all composure] …Let’s get serious now, I’m sorry. They’re doing their job and you just intruded in here –

Namoff: I thought I did pretty good!

Rod, with the final shot: If it wasn’t for these guys, no one would even know who you are! [guffaws all around] Go ahead, sorry about that, that’s just totally unprofessional...

In typically understated Minnesotan style, behindthebadge.com's Kyle Sheldon noted post-game that "winning is way better than losing." Which sounds obvious and simplistic, except that it actually goes a long way towards summarizing that palpable atmosphere of relief in the locker room, and around the team in general, now that a capable performance has snuffed out a dispiriting losing streak.

Later on today I'll be posting some reflections and bonus quotes from DC United's timely 4-1 win on Saturday...but for now, I wanted to continue the circulation of this intelligent piece from the Times (UK), for which I must offer the proverbial 'hat tip' to Fox Soccer's Bobby McMahon.

Did you see anyone get caught up in this sort of "flawed thinking" during a busy weekend of MLS play?

Just for all you hard-core info junkies out there, I present a few odds and ends from the DC United camp...

Dan Stratford bonus quotes

On his recent move into a 3-bedroom apartment with teammates Quavas Kirk and Jose Carvallo:
It’s working pretty well actually, we’re all pretty laid-back so no one’s really complaining too much when we make a little bit of mess! No, it’s been pretty good, it’s worked out quite nicely.

On how his choice of roommates affects his musical development:
I’m very eclectic so I’ll listen to pretty much anything. Most of the times it’s either R&B hip-hop because I’m Quavas’ car, or some Latino salsa when I’m in Jose’s car, so it just depends on who drives in to training in the morning.

On versatility:
They’ve not looked at me in a great deal of other positions, to be honest, which has surprised me a little. I have been used in the past with previous clubs as more of a utility player, especially at Fulham. I fulfilled a number of roles at Fulham, and in my first year or two at college I did as well. I don’t think it’s defensive midfield and that’s it for me. I think I could play outside midfield, maybe right back, or maybe a more advanced role in midfield. I wouldn’t mind. I think it’s good to have a little bit of versatility and I’d be more welcome to the opportunity to play anywhere, to be honest, right now.

On his desire to break into the first team:
It can get frustrating, you always want to be contributing and feel like you’re part of the team. But there’s a lot of quality in this team and we are a deep squad. So you’ve got to bide your time and wait for your opportunity, and then hopefully when it comes I do my best to take it.

Oh, and this...Francis Doe was far from talkative the other day, but he did divulge a few semi-intriguing thoughts about his two previous US clubs...

Comparing the United coaching staff to Minnesota's:
It’s a big difference. Minnesota Thunder is an A-league team, you know. Even though an A-league team can have an experienced coach, what I saw from the coaches here in the training session was a little bit different. This is more professional.

On his unceremonious departure from Red Bull New York, thanks to Juan Carlos Osorio:
Yeah, I’m frustrated with how things went, because the new coach, he just came in and did his own thing. I’m a little bit frustrated.

On the upcoming schedule for the Liberian National team, for which Doe has been a regular contributor:
Yes. They sent me a fax already, to go to the [friendly] game on Sunday, next Sunday. But I can’t go because of my [visa] status right now: they’re working on my papers.