Caught in Possession

Belatedly...a few thoughts on DC United's recovery at the weekend. And make no mistake -- even by a 4-1 margin, the win over RSL is still only a recovery win. Plenty of hard work still to come.

But a weight certainly seems to have been lifted off United's collective shoulders. Rod Dyachenko took advantage of Tom Soehn's decision to yank off Dan Stratford early -- unnecessarily early, for me -- by putting in one of his best-ever performances with the DC senior squad.

For most of his time in DC, Dyachenko has routinely been handed one of the tougher tasks in the United cosmos: filling in for skilful attacking veterans like Jaime Moreno and Christian Gomez. Unsurprisingly, he's often struggled to reproduce their creativity. But against Real Salt Lake he gave us a glimpse of an all-around game that could yet live up to the potential Soehn and GM Dave Kasper see in him.

Rod is a pretty down-to-earth guy who typically gives it to you straight when interviewed, answering questions politely and forthrightly. In the locker room after Saturday's game, he got a lot more attention from the media than normal and veteran goofball Bryan Namoff couldn't resist poking fun at the scene, grabbing Dave Lifton's audio recorder and sticking it in Dyachenko's face like we do to the team's leading lights every week. (Dorky reporters are an easy target, to be sure.)

Rod, answering questions about the game: ...I think it’s a good mix between me, Clyde and Gallardo up there...

Namoff, interrupting: How did you feel your performance was out there? Coming in, I know it was a tough game, it was a big crowd, and did you feel right from the start?

Rod, playing along: Well, when you’re a natural like me, it’s a smooth transition from the bench onto the field. I thought the pitch looked real good today, I thought it matched my eyes. So therefore –

Namoff, being 'probing': It looked like there was good chemistry between you and Gallardo and Clyde Simms. Talk about that a little bit.

Rod: Well last night we actually had tea together, we had his wife – [laughing, loses all composure] …Let’s get serious now, I’m sorry. They’re doing their job and you just intruded in here –

Namoff: I thought I did pretty good!

Rod, with the final shot: If it wasn’t for these guys, no one would even know who you are! [guffaws all around] Go ahead, sorry about that, that’s just totally unprofessional...

In typically understated Minnesotan style, behindthebadge.com's Kyle Sheldon noted post-game that "winning is way better than losing." Which sounds obvious and simplistic, except that it actually goes a long way towards summarizing that palpable atmosphere of relief in the locker room, and around the team in general, now that a capable performance has snuffed out a dispiriting losing streak.

Later on today I'll be posting some reflections and bonus quotes from DC United's timely 4-1 win on Saturday...but for now, I wanted to continue the circulation of this intelligent piece from the Times (UK), for which I must offer the proverbial 'hat tip' to Fox Soccer's Bobby McMahon.

Did you see anyone get caught up in this sort of "flawed thinking" during a busy weekend of MLS play?

Just for all you hard-core info junkies out there, I present a few odds and ends from the DC United camp...

Dan Stratford bonus quotes

On his recent move into a 3-bedroom apartment with teammates Quavas Kirk and Jose Carvallo:
It’s working pretty well actually, we’re all pretty laid-back so no one’s really complaining too much when we make a little bit of mess! No, it’s been pretty good, it’s worked out quite nicely.

On how his choice of roommates affects his musical development:
I’m very eclectic so I’ll listen to pretty much anything. Most of the times it’s either R&B hip-hop because I’m Quavas’ car, or some Latino salsa when I’m in Jose’s car, so it just depends on who drives in to training in the morning.

On versatility:
They’ve not looked at me in a great deal of other positions, to be honest, which has surprised me a little. I have been used in the past with previous clubs as more of a utility player, especially at Fulham. I fulfilled a number of roles at Fulham, and in my first year or two at college I did as well. I don’t think it’s defensive midfield and that’s it for me. I think I could play outside midfield, maybe right back, or maybe a more advanced role in midfield. I wouldn’t mind. I think it’s good to have a little bit of versatility and I’d be more welcome to the opportunity to play anywhere, to be honest, right now.

On his desire to break into the first team:
It can get frustrating, you always want to be contributing and feel like you’re part of the team. But there’s a lot of quality in this team and we are a deep squad. So you’ve got to bide your time and wait for your opportunity, and then hopefully when it comes I do my best to take it.

Oh, and this...Francis Doe was far from talkative the other day, but he did divulge a few semi-intriguing thoughts about his two previous US clubs...

Comparing the United coaching staff to Minnesota's:
It’s a big difference. Minnesota Thunder is an A-league team, you know. Even though an A-league team can have an experienced coach, what I saw from the coaches here in the training session was a little bit different. This is more professional.

On his unceremonious departure from Red Bull New York, thanks to Juan Carlos Osorio:
Yeah, I’m frustrated with how things went, because the new coach, he just came in and did his own thing. I’m a little bit frustrated.

On the upcoming schedule for the Liberian National team, for which Doe has been a regular contributor:
Yes. They sent me a fax already, to go to the [friendly] game on Sunday, next Sunday. But I can’t go because of my [visa] status right now: they’re working on my papers.

DC United's slow start has given many Washington-area soccer fans reason to feel less than thrilled in the opening stages of the 2008 Major League Soccer campaign. But at times like this it might be worth taking a step back and eyeing the forest, rather than the trees. Our region is still one of the leading incubators for domestic talent and evidence of such can be seen all over the league. To wit:

*Who needs Carlos Ruiz? Fairfax Station's Abe Thompson is getting it DONE for FC Dallas, plain and simple.

*Real Salt Lake might actually turn out to be a decent side this year, and Crofton, Md. native Kyle Beckerman is a big reason why. Just imagine if Colorado hadn't foolishly traded him last year -- they'd have, arguably, the league's best midfield right now.

*And more subtly, Revs striker Adam Cristman (Glen Allen, Va. product and UVa grad) is putting in the hard work for shorthanded New England, who's missing injured stars Taylor Twellman and Steve Ralston.

I would never have guessed DC United coach Tom Soehn to be a devotee of advanced French Eurotechnopop. But in the wake of his media Q&A session after Tuesday's training I kept seeing parallels between his general attitude and the title of a particular Daft Punk song.

Speaking forcefully, Soehn took questions for about 10 minutes and he made clear that he expects his team to play their way out of their current funk. He wants Better. Harder. Stronger. Faster.

While he didn't give us too many clever quotables he was admirably 'on-message,' gruffly driving home what some would interpret as talking points with enough singlemindedness to delight any PR pro.

For an opener:
(paraphrasing reporters' questions)

Injury status on McTavish, Peralta, Mediate?
They’re making progress.

Do you expect Peralta back in training as per normal?
They’re making progress.

Later, talk switched towards finishing and, somewhat, tactics, and within three minutes I had a clear theme (see if you can piece it together):

"I still think, I’ll turn it the other way: as a team we’re too easy to play against. I looked at the way we played against Pachuca ...

"When we’re playing well we do a lot of fouling in the offensive part of the field because we’re getting after teams and making it hard for them to play. As I had the weekend to assess things, we’re not hard enough on our opponents right now...

"I’ll get back to the point that we’re not hard enough on teams that we play. That’s a big factor...When you have that, things get tighter and you’re harder to play against. So we’re going to continue to focus on..."

But he wasn't alone -- when I'd spoken with midfielder Clyde Simms 20 minutes beforehand, he was right on the same page with his coach, so to speak.

"I guess it’s no secret that we’re too easy to play against, defensively..."

Again, I abridge: Better. Harder. Stronger. Faster. Yes?

Typically direct but genial, Soehn has grown less patient with media duties of late -- not that any human being wouldn't be similarly tempted, even in the relatively mellow media world of MLS -- and on this occasion even a team intern compiling quotes for some marketing materials got the treatment. The former defender definitely holds a 'loose lips sink ships' outlook and has previously mentioned his preference not to talk tactics with reporters -- "to make sure you don’t divulge too much."

Perhaps Soehn got word of Chelsea coach Avram Grant's recent media gambit...Is this what some would call circling the wagons...?

Whew. That wasn't particularly entertaining, was it? Thursday night's DC United - Columbus Crew match was certainly interesting, what with the Argentinean subplot (Schelotto might have the smartest "soccer brain" -- to use a Soehn-ian phrase -- in the league) and the well-deserved national TV attention paid to United's fervent supporters' groups...but I don't know if that was much of a spectacle for neutral viewers, or any viewers, really, except to give dedicated Crew fans the satisfying feeling of "Mission Accomplished" in the nation's capital.

In the media business, like many walks of life, timing is everything. So you can imagine my chagrin when I finish up a nice warm profile of an important United starter...and go to RFK a few hours later and watch him, well, maybe not "stink up the joint," but certainly underwhelm in most senses of the word. And put the final touch on the other team's game-winning goal.

No, Gonzalo Peralta wasn't BAD, and the own goal wasn't his fault...but he was one of the players who personified what Jimmy Carter would've called the "malaise" that seemed to have infected the DC squad last night. Luciano Emilio is the posterboy for said malaise, of course: when he's good, he's deadly and everything he touches seems to find the net. But when he's bad, my word he's BAD.

A poster over at the DCenters wisely pointed out that Luchi is a poacher, the most frustrating kind of striker...in both directions: for their fans as well as opposing teams. Poachers, or 'buitres' (vultures) as they are known in Spain, are often anonymous and/or easy to defend for hours at a time, then pop up out of nowhere to bury the dagger, if I may channel Ray Hudson for a moment. I'm thinking here about guys like Alan Shearer, Ruud van Nistelrooy, and in the MLS context, Carlos Ruiz or maybe even Ante Razov. They might not always appear to be working hard but they always know where the goal is, and there's a sort of single-minded instinct there that is simply quicksilver. I don't think it can be taught, except maybe to enterprising 5-year-olds.

Alejandro Moreno played the role to a T last night, though really, no one in attendance could possibly accuse him of not working his butt off. Watch the highlights of the match -- go on, open up a new browser tab and head over to MLSnet.com, they're right there on the front page -- and pay attention to the Venezuelan's movement on both Columbus goals.

He seems to be just standing there watching the action unfold, but in a flash he sees a chance developing and hustles toward the danger area, h*ll-bent for leather on getting into the goalmouth and making trouble. And he does. Credit his teammates for their hard work and good service, and scold United's back line for being static, ball-watching and marking poorly -- but SOMEone has to put the cap on those plays and right now Moreno is doing it for the Men in Yellow. Instinct + perspiration = goles del vuitre.

Who is going to fill that role for United this season? Right now Emilio seems to have forgotten that this is what he's best at. It's what he's paid for and it's why he's got an MLS MVP trophy at home. Defenders all over MLS will be delighted to see him receiving the ball 20 yards out from the goal. They'll be delighted to have him lean back on them at the top of the 18-yard box and raise his hand a la Shaquille O'Neal posting up in his prime -- which is what Emilio seemed to think would work against Chad Marshall in the second half last night.

I'd contend that Emilio needs to spend most of his time facing goal, inside the box, and looking to latch onto service with one or two touches -- either hit it on target or move it along, QUICKLY, to a teammate's run. Sure, he's not always getting great service. But he can't fix that problem by floating back into the midfield or trying to play Jaime Moreno's link role. Until he and his teammates figure it out, DC is going to look disjointed in attack.

For those who may be interested, here are a few bonus quotes from my interview w/ Gonzalo Peralta this week. See my MLSnet piece on him right here.

Peralta's English is not quite fluent yet but he's clearly a quick study and is much more fluid and comfortable than some of DC's other Latin Americans (G*d bless Facundo Erpen, he tried so hard but interviews were still pretty painful). Here you go...

On playing Argentinean legend, and Crew playmaker, Guillermo Barros Schelotto for the first time:
No, not a fan, I’m a fan of another team, San Lorenzo. But yeah, in Argentina he played on the most popular team, Boca Juniors. He’s big. I am excited to play him...When I was in my country, the only [MLS games] they play [on TV], only when Guillermo plays. So I watched two Columbus games last year.

On his relationship with DC head coach Tom Soehn:
He brought me here, he gave me the biggest opportunity of my life, so I’m always going to be grateful...He’s a good person first. He’s a very nice person and he likes to work.

On Gonzalo Martinez, his partner in United's central defense:
Gonzalo? The problem is that he doesn’t speak English a little bit like us [laughing]. No, he’s a good person, he’s joking all day, he likes to work. He’s good people.

On last week's defensive debacle in Salt Lake City:
Maybe because in the five games, we always play Namoff, Gonzalo, me and Marc. So we play as four all the match. Maybe as a new defense with three, like you guys say, it’s difficult. But everyone didn’t play good, the whole team. I don’t say hey, Peralta play bad, or Namoff – no. I think we shot only one time on goal. So we all have responsibility, not only one player.

On RSL's final goal, which saw Robbie Findlay take advantage of miscommunication between Peralta and DC goalkeeper Jose Carvallo:
Yeah, on the last goal – how you say 'pique'? The ball bounced and went very fast. I don’t want to remember!...It was my fault. I thought he was going to come and the ball went too fast [off the turf].

On his favorite Argentinean international player:
I like [Javier] Mascherano. Because he gives everything he has, in every game. I always say, I saw him in one game in my country, he was playing for River Plate, River was losing 3-0 with less than five minutes left. Nobody running – he was the only one who ran, all over the field. All the people clapped. So that’s why I liked him.

On being a leader in the DC locker room:
No, I am not a leader. I am only a player who tries to do his best…I don’t wish to be a leader, I only want to be a player who gives everything in practice and in games. That’s it.

Discussing his future with United:
First, I want to stay here. I like this team, I like this city, so if we can be champions that’s what we look for. But we have to work first.

Whew, a whole week between posts...that's not part of the plan. Well, how about I blame it on the bike accident I got into on Sunday? Riding west down M St. in Georgetown, a French tourist's ill-timed opening of her cab door sent me crashing headfirst into a parked Nissan and even now I feel woozy and sore. And then I tweaked a quad playing indoor on Tuesday! Wahhh! Yeah, yeah, that's it: all that's why I haven't been posting lately.

But it's not as if there's been any shortage of online commentary or speculation about DC United this week. Perusing the local footie blogosphere in the wake of United's 0-4 whupping at the hands of Real Salt Lake (!) reveals, to me at least, a small but growing sense of concern among fans and observers. The DCU fan base is by and large a savvy one, and we all know it's April and this marathon runs until November, but I note a couple of meta-issues percolating, mainly:

* Is Gallardo overpaid and undermotivated? Why'd they trade Gomez, anyway?
* Is something wrong with Emilio? Sophomore slump, or maybe things just aren't the same since the unhappiness linked to a misunderstanding of his contract structure in the offseason?
* Does Soehn know what he's doing?
* If CONCACAF success was such a big deal to the club, SHOULDN'T the fans be peeved about crashing out of the Champions Cup?
* What are the blood/guts of this team all about, anyway? That is, how much of the heart and soul, p*ss and vinegar, etc. is missing with Ben Olsen stuck in the trainer's room?

Interesting topics, all. I'm certainly not the one to attempt to answer them at this point. But since there's an incendiary quality to some of these ideas, I will say that 1) I don't think Gallardo is overpaid -- but he still has to prove that he can impact this league the way Christian Gomez did, and still does. And 2) I do think Soehn does know what he's doing and has the full confidence of Payne and the ownership, so it's almost cute to see United fans approaching their MLS team with enough devotion and ambition to suggest that the head coach is anywhere near the hot seat.

How very worldly and cosmopolitan that would be! Yet many players are drawn to play in this country specifically because the game is not held in the insane environment, and frenzied regard, that it is elsewhere. I am presently working up an MLSnet piece about Gonzalo Peralta, United's big new center back -- who grew up in the futbol hotbed of Buenos Aires, Argentina, but clearly relishes the opportunity to play in the USA -- and here's one of the statements that struck me in our interview:

"This is a big team, they’ve always been champions, so you have pressure," he said of playing for DC United. "But I think in my country the fans are crazy – the president, everyone is crazy. So maybe here they think more of people first. I think it’s better."

But I digress. I think the themes listed above will come up again this season, unless the team reels off an extended stretch of domination akin to the summer of '06. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to seeing how the squad looks tomorrow night against Columbus, on "Priiiiiiiiiiiimetime Thursday" -- and in the back of my mind I have this sneaky suspicion that former United stalwart Brian Carroll will do something noteworthy in his first trip back to RFK.

More tomorrow -- vaya con dios ...

Pachuca coach Enrique Meza didn't say anything devastatingly interesting to the English-speaking media after the game last night ('the game' being DC United's 2-1 win over Pachuca, which is actually a loss b/c the Mexican club advances to the CCC final), but since there's nothing like primary source material, here you go:

On United's performance...
"The result is there. The result speaks for itself. But we committed a lot of errors. Without taking anything away from DC United, we committed a lot of errors and hopefully we’ll be able to not make those mistakes in the future."

On United's attack:
"With the inclusion of Moreno in the lineup, Jaime and Gallardo are very dangerous up top and I thought that defensively also, they’re a very well-balanced team."

Why do Mexican clubs dominate MLS sides in international competitions?
"I couldn’t tell you what the difference is, but I know that their football is very dynamic. They have good players and it’s very respectable in MLS. But I couldn’t really say what the difference is."

Coach, you won both DC matches with substitutes' goals. Why'd you pick Damian Alvarez to come off the bench? (Alvarez scored the series-clinching goal.)
"Damian was coming off an injury that kept him off the field for four months. Tonight he was able to play well, I thought. He helped us tonight with the result."

Meza's thoughts on the recent firing of Mexican national team coach Hugo Sanchez:
"They should have given more time to Hugo, for the process to keep going. I’m onto of an opinion that he should have been removed from the national team…the interim coach, Jesus “Chucho” Ramirez would be a good coach, or Javier Aguirre [currently coaching Spanish side Atletico Madrid]."

There's been plenty of buzz in MLS-oriented circles about the league salary numbers recently released by the players' union, which is becoming something of an annual ritual as more money floats in and around the league with more and more people paying attention to it in general.

Certainly there are some head-scratchers and jaw-droppers on this year's list, as always -- at both ends of the spectrum, with no shortage of stunningly overpaid fellows who can feel shamed by value-packed counterparts outperforming them at a fraction of their cost.

But having worked in and around labor unions for some time now, I am quite familiar with the conventional wisdom that claims "you're worth what you negotiate," so for guys like Jovan Kirovski ($220,000 a year, 12 goals over three seasons in Colorado) and Claudio Reyna (NYRB designated player making $1,015,000 a season, chipped in three assists last year), I say, "fair play and congrats to you, gents." It seems that merely going to play in Europe, even if you ride the pine while you're over there, entitles you to a fatter check when you come home and play in MLS. Puts a new light on Troy Perkins' decision to relocate to chilly Norway, doesn't it?

The real issue, to me, is not so much money wasted or value gained, but the gap between rich and poor. Young players around the league are often understandably reluctant to speak about their poor salaries and difficult household economics too openly or too often, but there's little doubt that they know all about these income statistics and the league honchos' stone-cold refusal to tweak them even though they could afford to do so at this point.

Basically, to hell with good will or fairness: every single dollar is going to have to be yanked away from the league in what will surely be (eventually, if not already) knock-down, drag-out collective bargaining negotiations. This is no different from what the auto workers or the health care workers or the grocery store employees (aka UFCW) face at contract time. The current CBA expires next year and those talks have already started. There are other hot topics to be hammered out there, but most players agree that the top priority is the need to take young players' wages above the poverty line. We'll see. Every chance I get, I have been talking to players around the league about this issue and will certainly be doing more coverage of it in the months to come.

In the meantime, MLS fans have every right to wonder whether income differences between players in their team's locker room are a potential source of frustration, resentment or even conflict. Yes, most of these guys handle the situation with professionalism -- and recognize that they have little to no control over what they or their teammates make -- but it's still an intriguing area.

Here in DC, we now know that Marcelo Gallardo is not just making DP money, but is the highest-paid player in United history and it reminded me that this topic had come up in a preseason conversation I had with Devon McTavish, who, for now at least, can boast of having scored three times as many goals as Gallardo at 1/56th the price.

"He’s got quite a resume," said McTavish of Gallardo. "So you can’t take that away from him. I’d say the resume does the salary justice, I think. You could look at it negatively if you wanted to, but it’s just a waste of energy and it just hurts the team in the long run. I don’t think any player looks on it negatively, that guy is making X amount and this guy’s making this amount. It’s just a waste of time and at the end of the day everyone is just trying to play soccer. So the guy next to you is making a little bit more, what can you do? You just kind of look past it and hope that he does what he’s supposed to do, which is making you look better on the field."

But if they ever get together for a postgame beer, you can guess who's buying.

Toronto FC's visit to RFK Stadium tonight should be an interesting affair for both sides. In this fixture last year, the expansion Reds surprised the D.C. fans by grabbing an early goal in a brave first-half performance against first-place United. But the floodgates opened after halftime when a peeved Tom Soehn brought on Jaime Moreno and Ben Olsen (who he'd been resting after the team's Copa Sudamericana exertions) and United tore open TFC for a 4-1 final result.

How intriguing, to recall that D.C.'s experienced duo had to come off the bench to rescue the league leaders (at that time chasing the Supporters' Shield) from an embarrassing home setback to a cellar-dwelling expansion team. This season, it's becoming fully apparent just how much United depend on Moreno and Olsen -- for leadership, ball possession, attacking imagination, midfield tenacity, all-around clutchness...you name it. Soehn mentioned this after training yesterday. He's clearly ready for someone else to step up:

"It’s been difficult losing Benny and Jaime through this stretch. They’re veteran guys who’ve been through these type of tournaments, and they’re looked upon as leaders on our team," he said. "But you have to move on from that. We feel we’ve built a deeper team to adjust, and the expectations on now some of the other guys is a little higher, and we have to live up to that."

TFC is still figuring things out under first-year head coach John Carver, and -- compared to the menacing Mexicans from Pachuca -- should provide a relatively compliant punching bag for D.C. as the Black-and-Red try to get their act together. But you never know. The mere fact that Soehn AND several of his players used the phrase "it's not the end of the world" in reference to the prospect of losing or drawing this match is enough to suggest that they may not be 100 % focused on it.

The RFK pitch is in magnificent shape but the grass will be slick, which could 1) help United to play at a higher pace and run Toronto out of the building, or 2) equalize what is surely a significant talent gap between the two sides and give the Canadians a better shot at the upset.

I'll leave you with a few words from D.C. 'keeper Zach Wells, a thoughtful guy who, I think, put his finger on a big aspect of his team's recent struggles when we talked on Thursday.

"What needs to change? I mean, lots of stuff. Concentration on free kicks, having confidence on the ball, organization for 45 minutes each half – just kind of staying focused for a full 90 minutes and making the other team have to earn their goals as opposed to, you know, giving up near post cross-shot things and giving away easy chances."

Mwaaaahahahahahahahaha...

Blame it on Mexico?

So, the Mexican jinx continues for DC United -- and all of MLS, actually -- with last night's 2-0 setback to Pachuca in leg 1 of the CONCACAF Champions Cup semifinal. Los Tuzos looked dangerous for the lion's share of the match and were good value for the win, I'd say.

And not to bang on a broken drum or anything, but D*MN, it is painful to watch American-born Mexicanos like Jose Francisco Torres excel south of the border. The kid was a big factor coming off the bench last night, and I was left cursing the socio-cultural divide that allows promising young bucks like him to get snapped up by Mexican development systems instead of Gringo ones. Those kind of players are the missing link for US Soccer, possessing the quicksilver qualities that our infrastructure seems unable to produce.

The kid was born in LONGVIEW, for crying out loud! As a native Texan I can assure you that there are plenty more like Torres out there in dusty fields across brown neighborhoods throughout the Southwest (and maybe even closer to home, like maybe...hmmm...Ligas Latinas in our Northern Virginia exurbs?). So when will ODP and its ilk venture out from the moneyed suburbs to find them? This kind of stuff should have Bob Bradley and Peter Nowak practicing header drills into a brick wall in frustration.

On the DC side...Jaime Moreno's poise and possession skills were certainly missed, and several key United players like McTavish and Niell (and, it must be said, Wells in the second half) just happened to have poor performances at a poor time. This team is undoubtedly still a work in progress and it's worth wondering if it's still one 'difference-maker' short.

Or maybe it's just the altitude? Pachuca is really, really, really high, you know. Read the link and weep, United fans -- Los Tuzos' physiological advantage doesn't necessarily go away at RFK.

Allow me to take a brief break from DC United and MLS ponderings, and ponder the situation at my Euro club of choice...

Gor blimey, the home of the world's most beautiful footie has gone off the rails.

Yes, I'm talking about FC Barcelona, where the constant presence of drama and intrigue has for several years been comfortably balanced out by the irresistible style of slick attacking soccer created by a squad full of engaging personalities. But no more, it seems.

Ruinous losses and underwhelming draws have been stacking up like newspapers in a pack rat's living room and the Blaugrana seem to have spurned the golden opportunity handed out by the poor form of league leaders Real Madrid. Now Barca are looking at a dogfight with Villarreal just to hang on to the second spot in La Liga. Or worse, the Yellow Submarine may push on and achieve where Barca have failed -- providing a real challenge for the league title.

All that, combined with simmering, ever-present rumors of Ronaldinho's departure has been discouraging, to say the least. But then -- thanks to Steve Goff's morning post on SI -- I got updated on the latest installment of Barca Toons, the Blaugrana's cunning campaign to win the hearts and minds of soccer children the world over...and I felt the cold, clammy fingers of real fear.

Clearly there's a stoner infestation in the highest reaches of the Barcelona brain trust and there's no telling what will happen next. I feel a nauseating sense of powerlessness in the face of chaos...this must be what Redskins fans are saddled with every day.

Pretend, for a minute, you're Tommy Soehn. Your team just lost its regular season opener and at times looked listless in the process, but now has to travel directly to a remote mountain town in Mexico which is known for, if anything, a local history of mining and a gasp-inducing base altitude of 7,000+ feet, to take on a very talented side that knows how to win big games in big tournaments.

Your hamstrung captain is on the comeback trail but surely nowhere near 100 % healthy. Your star striker came into preseason unfit and still looks a step off the pace. Your new bilingual back line experiment might be running into some communication problems after all. And oh yeah, almost forgot -- you're trying to overcome your otherwise proud club's dismal history of futility on Mexican soil.

Bottom line: the CONCACAF Champions Cup is one trophy you and your entire organization have been lusting over for years, and to get back to the final you've got to walk a tightrope that's studded with glass shards, metaphorically speaking.

So what do you do in Pachuca on Tuesday night?

I believe United is going to sit in and weather the storm. It's just what they tried to do under similar circumstances in their last trip to Mexico, when they traveled to Chivas Guadalajara for the second leg of their Copa Sudamericana series clinging to a 2-1 aggregate lead. And it almost worked, only for Mexican international Ramon Morales to produce a moment of pure class with a 20-yard piledriver for the match and series winner.

No doubt hoping to hold a bit of possession and push 'Los Tuzos' onto the back foot, Soehn may start in DC's normal 4-4-2 shape with Niell and Emilio up top. Jaime Moreno might well make a second-half appearance to try and keep the ball, calm the game's pace and add a bit of trickery around the opposition's penalty box. But I think it's just a matter of time before Dan Stratford comes on as an additional midfielder to clog up the central passing lanes, likely leaving Emilio alone up top in a 4-5-1 which will probably sentence the 2007 MLS MVP to an extended period of chasing after hopeful punts and lost causes.

Last week I talked to Clyde Simms about the matchup with Pachuca and he sounded like someone already eager to get back to RFK.

Against Pachuca, do you expect to sit in and bunker?
"Maybe a little bit, with the altitude and having the game on Saturday. But I believe they have a game on Saturday also," he said. "We’ve always had the second leg away in these tournaments the last couple of years, and I think it’ll benefit us to have the second leg here this year. I feel like it takes at least a half to get a feel for the other team when you play in these types of tournaments and so that first game we’ll get a feel for them."

What do you think?