Caught in Possession

Whew. That wasn't particularly entertaining, was it? Thursday night's DC United - Columbus Crew match was certainly interesting, what with the Argentinean subplot (Schelotto might have the smartest "soccer brain" -- to use a Soehn-ian phrase -- in the league) and the well-deserved national TV attention paid to United's fervent supporters' groups...but I don't know if that was much of a spectacle for neutral viewers, or any viewers, really, except to give dedicated Crew fans the satisfying feeling of "Mission Accomplished" in the nation's capital.

In the media business, like many walks of life, timing is everything. So you can imagine my chagrin when I finish up a nice warm profile of an important United starter...and go to RFK a few hours later and watch him, well, maybe not "stink up the joint," but certainly underwhelm in most senses of the word. And put the final touch on the other team's game-winning goal.

No, Gonzalo Peralta wasn't BAD, and the own goal wasn't his fault...but he was one of the players who personified what Jimmy Carter would've called the "malaise" that seemed to have infected the DC squad last night. Luciano Emilio is the posterboy for said malaise, of course: when he's good, he's deadly and everything he touches seems to find the net. But when he's bad, my word he's BAD.

A poster over at the DCenters wisely pointed out that Luchi is a poacher, the most frustrating kind of striker...in both directions: for their fans as well as opposing teams. Poachers, or 'buitres' (vultures) as they are known in Spain, are often anonymous and/or easy to defend for hours at a time, then pop up out of nowhere to bury the dagger, if I may channel Ray Hudson for a moment. I'm thinking here about guys like Alan Shearer, Ruud van Nistelrooy, and in the MLS context, Carlos Ruiz or maybe even Ante Razov. They might not always appear to be working hard but they always know where the goal is, and there's a sort of single-minded instinct there that is simply quicksilver. I don't think it can be taught, except maybe to enterprising 5-year-olds.

Alejandro Moreno played the role to a T last night, though really, no one in attendance could possibly accuse him of not working his butt off. Watch the highlights of the match -- go on, open up a new browser tab and head over to MLSnet.com, they're right there on the front page -- and pay attention to the Venezuelan's movement on both Columbus goals.

He seems to be just standing there watching the action unfold, but in a flash he sees a chance developing and hustles toward the danger area, h*ll-bent for leather on getting into the goalmouth and making trouble. And he does. Credit his teammates for their hard work and good service, and scold United's back line for being static, ball-watching and marking poorly -- but SOMEone has to put the cap on those plays and right now Moreno is doing it for the Men in Yellow. Instinct + perspiration = goles del vuitre.

Who is going to fill that role for United this season? Right now Emilio seems to have forgotten that this is what he's best at. It's what he's paid for and it's why he's got an MLS MVP trophy at home. Defenders all over MLS will be delighted to see him receiving the ball 20 yards out from the goal. They'll be delighted to have him lean back on them at the top of the 18-yard box and raise his hand a la Shaquille O'Neal posting up in his prime -- which is what Emilio seemed to think would work against Chad Marshall in the second half last night.

I'd contend that Emilio needs to spend most of his time facing goal, inside the box, and looking to latch onto service with one or two touches -- either hit it on target or move it along, QUICKLY, to a teammate's run. Sure, he's not always getting great service. But he can't fix that problem by floating back into the midfield or trying to play Jaime Moreno's link role. Until he and his teammates figure it out, DC is going to look disjointed in attack.